Apology

A decade since it was first prompted by his brother's tragic death, that festering question remains unanswered. Over the past few years, in fact, it has almost faded into oblivion, another thwarted assault by naive youth upon wisdom's fortress. But lately that question has been bubbling into awareness again, like the ache of a gangrenous sore thoughtlessly left unattended. Amidst the rousing of this and many other dormant questions, there returns a scarcely forgotten excitement, remnant of a forsaken bliss. Seeking remembrance of lost meaning, he has traveled to visit an old college friend, last human link to his glory days of reckless psychedelic questioning. In wanderlust they journey to a distant wilderness, where they upwards grope toward an impending sense of perspective. On an isolated mountaintop far from civilization, memories flow back to him . . . An ecstasy beyond words manifested in a clouded sky . . . An answer glimpsed in the structure of reality . . . An encounter with the Truth that made all other truths self-evident. But as the sun begins to set on that magnificent perspective, he recalls that the place with the brightest light also harbors the deepest shadows. As darkness closes in around them on that lonely outcrop above the world and the chill of night enshrouds their spirits, he remembers why he fled from ecstasy those many years ago, leaving all questions unanswered. Reawakened now as if from a mere moment's rest, madness resumes its savage disassembly of his world, even as an old familiar terror blocks the path home. True to the platonic meaning of the term, Apology seeks to make clear the grounds for belief in the transcendent significance inherent in all of human existence. Part psychoanalytic memoir, part philosophical dialogue, part travelogue of the world's spiritual traditions, Apology casts its light across the vast terrain over which humankind has ranged for millennia in quest of a resolution to its existential dilemma. What is the point